Tampilkan postingan dengan label life. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label life. Tampilkan semua postingan

simply hello

Label: - 10 Oktober 2011


i just read my previous posts. it was only 2 months ago, but i can tell you there are a lot of things happened in those 2 months. about my relationship : a fact, which i should have known from the very first time, the risk i chose to take, that someday we will end this up. sooner or later. all we have to do is just enjoy every single moment left before the time's coming. and another problem about my relationship was a new 'thing' i never experienced before. i'd better not to post it here though and keep it for myself ;)
another news was about me being a leader. i can't tell you how it feels when it came to the end. when i think FINALLY THIS IS OVER! too much disappointment, too much emotion, i'm just too tired.

and by the way, those aren't the reason why i post tonight. it was about a book i'm currently reading. i've been looking for this book for such a long time, and to my surprise Gramedia discounted it 70% off! can you imagine how excited i was?! it costs IDR 240000 before and IDR 70000 after the discount *bellydance* so i bought it as soon as possible at Gramedia Mall Taman Anggrek. it titled Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult. this is seriously one of touching books i adored so much. i won't hesitate to looking for another books of Jodi Picoult next time.
This book was about a woman named Charlotte who has a daughter suffered Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI), a rare bone disease. she was very fragile, a simple slipped could break her bones, even a sneeze too. Charlotte has to take a very very good care of Willow (her daughter) and sacrifice a lot of things, her first daughter, people's opinion, even her friendship. as usual, Jodi Picoult shows detail of the medical and law in her books, i found this as her speciality since her another book 'My Sister's Keeper' was also in the same genre. i seriously recommended this book. definitely one of my favorite! ;)

and here's the picture of the book :

Title : Handle with Care
Author : Jodi Picoult
Publisher : Hodder & Stoghton (UK)

err

Label: - 02 Agustus 2011

would somebody give me courage to get out of this, errr, what should i call this? i don't even know. i have no idea what i want to write here. the point is, i'm just too afraid of a relationship. i'm afraid to love someone whole-heartedly. especially at this time, what i want to do is just enjoy my 'me' time. could i?please? :)

disoriented

Label: - 13 Juli 2011

it's been a while since the last time i wrote here, as usual. i've been very busy with a lot of stuffs. i became the leader in a church event and it drives me crazy. with all of the problems, the people, a lot of things to think of. sometimes i feel like i give up in this thing, but God always guide me to be His good sheep, and also there's my boyfriend who always support me and give me strength. so here i am, still hold on and still believe in Him to work on me :)
but that's not why i write tonight, about became the leader, it's about the disoriented feeling i felt. it's hard for me to write, to tell, to explain exactly what i felt. it just like, i have no passion in EVERYTHING i do. in my study, in my relationship with my bf, in my friendship, in the church event, in little business i run, everything. i was like i didn't do all of those stuffs whole-heartedly. i walked next to my boyfriend, but i didn't really feel like i was there. i wrote answer on my exam paper, but i didn't feel like i think about it. i led a meeting for a church event, but i didn't feel like i was there in the front of the room. i have no idea why i felt this way. a conclusion came into my mind, simply i live my life unhappily. what should i do then? i have no idea. who i really need to fill this emptiness? what should i do to keep this lonely feeling away?

and anyway i think these lyrics really suite me for now. don't you think so?



Disguise

Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Are you waiting for the day
When your pain will disappear
When you know that it's not true
What they say about you
You could not care less about the things
Surrounding you
Ignoring all the voices from the walls

over loaded of love

Label: , - 17 April 2011

Have you ever felt this way, when you're feeling like so full of love. Extremely full that you think you can't load them in your heart. I am! :D
I really really really grateful, for everything happened. I DO believe that everything happened for a reason, and i finally found the reason why that happened and this happened and so on. I believe every pain and every tears I've ever felt brought me to this beautiful part of my life. Gave me the strength to face everything.
And most of all, I'm so grateful for your presence in my life. I have your name in my pray every night, how I'm feeling so blessed to have you right here with me, to support me, to make me laugh, to be my mood-booster, and specially to love me. You have no idea how much I love you, dear :)

With my favorite pilot :)

breaking news

Label: - 02 Maret 2011

I just read my last post, it's about a month later. and i have to tell you, there are soooo many things happened in a month. the first thing is i had a week of holiday in Bali, seriously it was fun and i'd love to visit Bali again ANYTIME! such a beautiful and full of cultures island, and you should have a culinary trip there. I have some recommended places to go, note this!
  1. Babi Guling Bu Oka, at Ubud
  2. Naughty Nuri's Spare Ribs, at Ubud
  3. Bridges Bali, at Ubud
  4. Ultimo Italian Restaurant, at Seminyak
  5. Ku De Ta, at Seminyak
  6. last but not least, Bamboo Corner at Poppies Lane :p
honestly there are so many things i'd love to write about my trip in Bali, but i'm not in a mood and i didn't have any photo to be posted. i will, soon ;)
the second thing happened is, me and mr lovely officially in a relationship. this is such a long story to told. he gave me a teddy bear at midnight feb 14th. with the notes written there 'would you be my valentine?' in french. that's soooo sweet! i'm so speechless since no one ever treat me that sweet. he's just too lovely right? i knew i'm afraid about many things through this relationship, but both of us decided to go on with this decision, supporting each other, loving each other. i also knew he's a super busy man, and with him, there's no saturday night to spend together. never mind, i'll take the risk :)
the third thing is, i finally got the result of my last 6 months' study. i got 3.56 this semester and 3.725 at all. not bad, i even think this is quite good for me. thanks God :) i really need Your guidance for the next years above in my study. Amen!
i'm feeling so good at all. i really should thanks God for everything happened, the good and the bad, specially the bad things happened in the past. i found out, that everything really out of our control. it's all about His way for us, the only human. everything will be right in the end, beautifully. i love you dear God o:)

p.s: i love you anw

FREEDOM (soon)

Label: , - 28 Januari 2011

I just got home after Managerial Finance final exam. i feel sooooo happy yeayyy! tomorrow is my last exam before super long HOLYday! excited excited :)
last night i feel so, numbed. seriously. i just found out a little surprising fact. i can't deny that i'm not really fine for now. but i really grateful that i haven't choose you yet. i almost actually. but it's over. you quit, and i'm done, and we're done. thanks to God that i didn't give you my all.
But anyway, i miss your presence. i will handle this, i really do. i just find out, that everything that supposed to be together will be together in the end. just let it be. let me flow with the wind. i'm totally curious about you hey mr.lovely. i'm dying to know what's your plan, what's your next step, WHEN's your next step. i'm just sure about you, but i'm not sure about us. there are too much differences, too far distance, i'm afraid for many things. i don't want these things going up too fast. slowly but sure.
i'm sorry anw, these are just some random thoughts. i never assume anyone to read this, because i didn't public my blog's url. see ya soon!

Sym sym sym W

dilema

Label: - 26 Desember 2010

Hey, i just watched Indonesia vs Malaysia final match in AFF Suzuki Cup. and it was sucksssss! some of Malaysian supporter used laser light to hit Indonesian player so they couldn't see well. SUCK malaysia!! Indonesia lose 3-0. it's okay, we'll beat you back on 29th hey Malaysia!!
But this is not the main purpose why i choose to write today :) lately, i had crushES in two boys. the first one just so lovely, seriously, really a lovely boy. tall, handsome, quite smart, diligent, kind, religious, caring. such a perfect one, right? the other one can't be describe as a lovely boy. quite lazy, smoker, not a religious one, well actually you can describe him as a bad one. i knew exactly which one to choose, the lovely one. but for me, these 2 boys have their own interest. i'm so confused :s which one to choose? guide me, dear God :(

waste of time

Label: , - 13 Desember 2010

I'm wondering, is there anyone read my blog? because i never publish it anywhere. but knowing no one knows my url blog (unless them who followed me, which only a several number), lift up my confidence to write more more and more.
It's monday morning and i supposed to hate it, but today i skip my first class, and fortunately the second class' lecturer won't be able to come, soooo i'll stay at home until noon! what a wonderful monday, right?
I'm kind of enjoying my life right now. i'm not thinking about my past anymore, and the most important thought is i didn't regret EVERYTHING happened, all the good and bad. I believe everything happened for a reason, we just haven't figure out the reasons. it will take a long time i guess, just like my friend said 'time will heal'. Don't you think so? Time really heals. Let's see several months from now, or it might take years, everything will be fine. You will look back to your past, and smile for everything, and grateful because it happened its way. :)

feel so much blessed :)

Label: - 10 Desember 2010

It's nearly to Christmas. I can feel the joy of Christmas everywhere, specially in my own heart. I LOVE Christmas too much!! Recently I'm listening to Josh Groban's Noel album and Celine Dion's This are Special Times album. I feel soooooo blessed, so happy, so excited aaaaaaaaaa :D
I love hanging out at mall nearly christmas,i'd love to visit all malls in Jakarta to feel the christmas, and to enjoy the decoration. too bad i haven't did any of it. but i will of course
i'm just feeling too happy i can't even write anything. see ya! :D

catch up

Label: , - 26 November 2010

Heyy, it's friday night and i looooove it so damn much! tomorrow gonna be quite a busy day, but without any plan to hangout on satnight. no problem ;)
i'm listening to taylor swift's Speak Now album. such a wonderful album and a lot of nice songs. some of them remind me of my situation, the one titled Never Grow Up reminds me of my mom since it was a song from a mom to her child. you should listen to them!
i was in a confused thought these last days. i was thinking of you, and how different you are right now. i can't deny that i miss you sometimes. but whom i miss is not really you, i miss the old you. and i should thank you because you have changed, and made this much more easier for me, because i can't find the person i missed. i was disappointed in you and how you changed. i took a pity to your mom and dad, how they concerned about you but you never realize it. i was sad when i knew your mom wished us to back together. it's impossible i knew, both of us knew. how pathetic. but anyway, i also realized i don't have any right to take care about you anymore, so whatever you did, you knew it so well, you knew the consequences, you knew the risks. all i going to do is pray for you, as always :)
And anyway i don't get it, well i got it but i'm not sure. why did you keep your anger? and dealing with it? just let it go, everything happened for a reason, just believe. i wish i could say everything i wrote here to you. but i know you too well. you, with your high pride, won't listen to me again. someone who had break your heart, even actually we break each other's heart, don't you agree?
You said i'll always special for you. but i know, it's just a simple lie. if you turn to hate me, i'll understand. i won't hate you, since you used to make me smile, since you have filled my heart for more than a year, since we have soooo many sweet memories, and since i loved you. i'll pray the best for you dear :)

oh btw i knew you'll never read this, so why did i write this post? -___- well i just want to write, maybe someday some months or even some years from now, you'll read this.

I'm officially 19 :D

Label: - 05 November 2010

Happy birthday to me! Thanks to God, for His grace and His bless through my life. It's still 11 AM right now, but i felt sooooooo much blessed and happy! :D
what i love about birthday is the birthday wishes. it's funny and quite interesting when an old friend greet me a 'happy birthday' since we haven't chat for such a really long time. and it's nice too, to know that so many people remember your birthday even you have hidden it at facebook. LOL
this day haven't end yet, but i can say it right now, I LOVE TODAY! :D
this morning, at class, i was thinking how sweet my birthday was. on my 16th birthday, my classmates gave me a surprise and a birthday cake. that was so sweet :) and at night, my best friends came into my house with another surprise and another birthday cake. so, i had 2 birthday cake on my 16th birthday. hahaha. on my 17th birthday, i went to hospital to see my ex boyfriend who was sick, and he gave me a little birthday cake and a necklace. and then i went to my friend's house, and i got another surprise and another birthday cake again!hahaha
on my 18th birthday, which is last year, i had a really good time with my ex boyfriend. he prepared a surprise for me, with all of his friends and my friends too. well this time, i got 1 birthday cake. LOL
what am i going to have today on my 19th birthday? i'm not expect anything :)

Happy Halloween everyone!

Label: - 31 Oktober 2010

I'm not really sure whether halloween celebrated on 30th or 31st of October. Some people said it celebrated on 30th October and some others said the otherwise. Whenever it is, happy halloween! :D
Actually there's no halloween in Indonesia. There's no costume party at college, there's no children going out looking for some candies, there's no trick or treat, there's no decoration for halloween, too bad right?
But, i just figured out (last night from twitter) there's halloween party out there! At x2, or equinox or something like that. interesting ;) perhaps i'm going to try it next year. perhaps.
Anyway, i'm just figured out about something too last night. pretty shocked, but it's okay. it's your own choice, since i don't have any right to take control of you anymore. i concern about you, i don't want you to be that way. well, i hope you read this honestly. or perhaps, your friend will let you know.
Btw it's sunday morning right now. and i'm awake and can't sleep anymore. *sighhhh*
i hate to wake too early on weekend :(

see ya ;)

a little touch from me

Label: , - 18 Oktober 2010

Wow, it's really been a looongg time i haven't write anything here :) everything supposed to be so fine for me. i broke up with my boyfriend (my ex-boyfriend for now on). we can't stand into this relationship anymore, and we can't force thing right? so here we are, in our own way. trying to figuring out the main purpose of our own life. so many dreams and plans we've made, which i know they won't realized. perhaps they will, but we're not going to realize them together ;) i'll always always pray for you and for me, for both of us, because i know God has a really good plan for us, in the separate way of course.
I'm a little bit surprised when I found this is not really hard for me. Idk why, but this is really how I felt, and i know this is not hard for you too. Maybe this is just the way it supposed to be :)
Sooo i decided to keep focused in my study, my job, my side job, my friendship, my family, my church, ALL of it. i can't even remember how was my life before. what usually i did to spend my time, funny right?hahaha. so i'm going to figure it out again, keep busy, enjoying every single second in my weekend. Gbm ;)

anyway i'm going to celebrate my birthday in about 2 weeks from now. not really excited, i don't want to get older!hahaha

have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside?

Label: - 12 Maret 2010







































this is a really really bad accident!

Label: - 30 November 2009

Semua pasti uda pada tau d, gak lama lagi juga nongol di TV. Jadi tadi sore jam 4 ada cewe yang jatoh dari lantai 5 ke lantai GF (ground floor) di Grand Indonesia. Oh my God! gue sampe gk sanggup buat masukin fotonya, takut jadi parno sendiri tiap kali buka blog ntar. >,<

girls day out!

Label: - 29 November 2009

Sebenernya c 'girls day out'nya itu kemaren. tapi berhubung baru terinspirasi nulis skrang yda lah yaa. hahaha. jadilah gue ama agnes ama phin yang sama" sedang stressbetedanbosan banget banget pegi ke ex. langsung cari pancious soalnya emng salah satu tujuan utamanya makan pancake. hahaha. and you have to know, i really really love the place!! sebenernya gk jauh beda sama pancious yg di permataijo, tapi mungkin gara" dekor natalnya kali yah, mengingat saya pencinta natal. hahaha. nilai tambahnya juga, lagu yang diputer tu lagu natal. aissss. can't wait for christmas!! x)
Berhubung gue orang yang monoton, jadilah gue pesen makanan dan minuman yang sama setiap kali gue makan di pancious yakni coco pancious [kalo gk salah c] + hot chocolate with marshmallow. untuk yang terakhir itu favorit gue :)
Yang agak" tolol itu hotchoc yang gue dan agnes pesen, entah kenapa ada rasa" pahit + bau" gosong gitu. hahahha. bikin ilfil aja. akhirny kami minta ganti d. diganti c akhirnya, tapi masi ada sedikit bau" gak enak. yucksss.
Kita bertiga jalan dari PI EX GI seperti orang tolol. duduk di depan Louis Vuitton cuma karena penasaran tungguin ada gak sih orang yang keluar dari sana dan bawa kantong belanjaannya alias belanja disana. nyatanya kyany cuma 10% orang yang keluar bawa belanjaan dari sana. hahahaha.


I do ♥ today [yesterday i mean] can't wait for next day out mates!

xoxo




realizing

Label: - 27 November 2009

Teman, sadarilah : GAK SEMUA TEMEN YG ADA DI SEKITAR KITA ITU TEMEN YG BAIK. trust me d. simply, tanya d ke diri kita masing" : Apa dia ada waktu lo susah? Apa dia dukung lo di setiap keputusan yg lo ambil yg emang kasi efek yg baik buat lo? Apa dia NGOMONGIN LO DI BELAKANG? Apa dia ngetawain lo di saat orang lain ngomongin kejelekan lo? Apa dia nyari lo waktu lagi butuh aja? Apa dia lupa sama lo waktu dia lagi ada temen baru? beberapa pertanyaan yg harus lo tanya ke diri lo sendiri d. based on true story nehh *cieileh* hahaha. gak perlu juga g cerita disini gimana ceritanya g temenan ama 'temen' macam ini. cuma gk mau kalian" jg ngerasain hal yang sama. jangan pernah buang bertaon" waktu kalian temenan sama orang" yg salah! sayang banget lohh. yg mestinya kita bisa ngerasain indahnya persahabatan *kata" lebai* ehh malah wasting time with such a people like them. ahahahha

feeling blue (again) T__T

Label: - 13 September 2009

Hmph. i really feel unhappy. rasanya gak semangat ngapa"in. sekarang baru seminggu kuliah, n besok uda masuk minggu kedua. tapi rasanya tuh gimana yaa. gak semangat ama sekali. sedih aja bakal meninggalkan weekend ini. bener" salah jurusan ini. haha. tapi mau gimana lagi donk. gak mungkin kan skrang ini pindah jurusan. walopun baru seminggu sih. tapiiii gitu lah, susa juga dijelasin pake kata", jadi mungkin mesti pakeny bahasa isyarat. hahaha.
Uda gak ngerti ekonomi ama skali, males aja. belajarnya jadi gak semangat. kesalahan xtra besar. HARUSNY GUE AMBIL DKV!! argh!! saddddd =(
Rasany jadi ada banyak banged hal mengecewakan dalam hidup, dan lagi" gue melihat ke atas dan gak pernah melihat ke bawah. wanted : perubahan dalam hidup =(
sadd sadd sadd sadd sadd
hikss
T____T

minggu pertama kuliah

Label: - 11 September 2009

akhirnyaaaa selese juga dari senen kemaren mpe jumat ini. buat gue, ternyataaa kuliah gk seenak yg dibyangin. =( karenaaaaaaaa

  1. kul gue dari senen mpe jumat masuk jam setengah delapan pagi ouch! teramat menyedihkan buat gue yg selama liburan kerjaanny bangun mpe jm 12an
  2. kalo di sekolah temen" sekelas dah pasti pada kenal. nyatany di kuliah gak begitu. malah mpe skrang setelah seminggu sekelas, gak semuany gue apal namany.
  3. buku accounting principles yg setelah gue timbang di rumah beratny tu 2.5 kilo!
  4. ada jeda waktu yg panjang pas hari jumat dari jm 9.10 mpe 13.30 yang gue gk tau mau ngapain selama 4 jeman itu. ukka mgkn.
  5. nawar bajaj kalo mau pulang tu sumpa setenga mampus banged! motorkuuu cepat datang =(
  6. akun bakal ada 8kali kuis selama semester ini
bla bla bla
bla bla bla

sumpa kuliah gak enak!

proses belajar

Label: - 28 Agustus 2009

Gue sedikit banyak uda mencoba untuk belajar. learn so much things in this life. belajar buat terima kenyataan, belajar buat gk merasa 'how could this happened to me?' coz i realized everything hppened for a reason, belajar buat nahan emosi, belajar buat mengontrol emosi yang uda keburu jelek *yg ini cukup sulit d*, belajar buat tau begini lah hidup gue dan begitu lah hidup orang lain.
Honestly, sebagai manusia yang manusiawi, gue selalu memandang ke atas. Ngeliat orang" yang ada di atas gue, entah dalam hal apa pun. Lalu gue merasa kurang. Kenapa gk pernah gue memandang ke bawah, ngeliat bahwa ternyata ada orang" yang lebih kurang dari gue, lalu g mensyukuri apa yang ada pada gue. Well, makany gue bilang sebagai manusia yang manusiawi. Karena ternyata setelah mengamati orang" di sekitar gue, mereka pun tipe" orang yang 'memandang ke atas dan gk ke bawah' sama seperti gue. Hmm, gue sangat" pengen d ngerubah cara pandang. Gk yang mengarah pada konsumerisme hedonisme bla bla bla. Tp ke arah yang harusny gue bersyukur atas apa yang gue punya karena ternyata banyak orang di luar sana yang gk bisa seperti gue. Agree with me?

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