catch up

Heyy, it's friday night and i looooove it so damn much! tomorrow gonna be quite a busy day, but without any plan to hangout on satnight. no problem ;)
i'm listening to taylor swift's Speak Now album. such a wonderful album and a lot of nice songs. some of them remind me of my situation, the one titled Never Grow Up reminds me of my mom since it was a song from a mom to her child. you should listen to them!
i was in a confused thought these last days. i was thinking of you, and how different you are right now. i can't deny that i miss you sometimes. but whom i miss is not really you, i miss the old you. and i should thank you because you have changed, and made this much more easier for me, because i can't find the person i missed. i was disappointed in you and how you changed. i took a pity to your mom and dad, how they concerned about you but you never realize it. i was sad when i knew your mom wished us to back together. it's impossible i knew, both of us knew. how pathetic. but anyway, i also realized i don't have any right to take care about you anymore, so whatever you did, you knew it so well, you knew the consequences, you knew the risks. all i going to do is pray for you, as always :)
And anyway i don't get it, well i got it but i'm not sure. why did you keep your anger? and dealing with it? just let it go, everything happened for a reason, just believe. i wish i could say everything i wrote here to you. but i know you too well. you, with your high pride, won't listen to me again. someone who had break your heart, even actually we break each other's heart, don't you agree?
You said i'll always special for you. but i know, it's just a simple lie. if you turn to hate me, i'll understand. i won't hate you, since you used to make me smile, since you have filled my heart for more than a year, since we have soooo many sweet memories, and since i loved you. i'll pray the best for you dear :)

oh btw i knew you'll never read this, so why did i write this post? -___- well i just want to write, maybe someday some months or even some years from now, you'll read this.

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